AAAAAAHHHHHH

stegenevieve:

 

I love how potato in French is pomme de terre, which pretty much means “earth apple.”

like what stupid frenchman saw this:

and said “zis petite légume looks like a, how you say, APPLE! hmmm… but it grows in ze earth… HON HON HON! MAIS OUI! C’EST UNE POMME DE TERRE!”

j’adore comment ananas se dit pineapple en anglais, ce qui veut littéralement dire “pomme de pin”, genre quel type anglais a vu ça:

et s’est dit : “ow cette étrange big fruit ressemble à une, how do you say, POMME! hmmm… mais plutôt une pomme qui pousse dans les pins… HU HU HU! OH YES, IT’S A PINEAPPLE!”

(z’avez vu, on peut le faire aussi… hon hon hon!)

(Source: yaoibutts)

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

galaxys4:

hello students. welcome to my math class. we will be having a class trip this year, the first ever math field trip in history. it’s to hell. here we are

(Source: galaxys4)

scuzzmutt:

[SMASHES INTO YOUR BEDROOM]
[SHOVES YOU INTO BED]
[AGGRESSIVELY TUCKS YOU IN]
[THROWS STUFFED ANIMALS AT YOU]
[SCREAMS A BEDTIME STORY AT YOU]
[KISSES YOUR FOREHEAD]
[BACKFLIPS OFF YOUR MATTRESS]
[RUNS OUT OF THE ROOM]
[SLAMS THE DOOR]